Personality
"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." [John 17:22,32]Jesus' prayer was for Christians to have unity. The reason we don't have unity is nearly always personality conflict. Chambers writes, "Personality is the characteristic mark of the inner, spiritual man, just as individuality is the characteristic of the outer, natural man." He likens the personality to the top of a huge mountain in the ocean, of which we see only the relatively small island showing above the surface. Since what we know of our own (or anyone's) personality is so small, we cannot measure ourselves. Only God who made us can know us.
As an island cannot "see" what is holding it up, so we cannot really know ourselves. What we CAN know is the God who reveals himself to us, who made his dwelling among us and talks with us and gives us of his own Spirit to be with us and in us. Therefore, I don't need to know myself nearly as desperately as I need to know Him. He is my Mountain. He is my Rock. He is the one with whom I want to be united.
The problem of unity really isn't a problem if we make Him our personality, if we are united with Jesus, dying to our own self, both personality and individuality, and being united in him. How do I effect this very abstract and metaphysical feat? I must "deny myself and take up the cross and follow him." Denying myself means acknowledging Jesus as my Shepherd and serving others as a shepherd for his flock, submitting, willing to serve, not greedy, but humble, all the things Peter says in 1Peter 5:2-9, all the things Jesus is. This is hard. Shepherding is a hard life. But being united with Him is the key to building one flock that is united under Him.
Personality conflicts will always be there in the flock of God, as elsewhere. But we can deal with them as shepherds when we know what we're up against. The wolf, the lion, the bear, these are not animals that flock. They are individualistic hunters, who may fight one another even more than they attack sheep. Sowing discord is like killing and eating, and scattering a flock of sheep is easy to do for a wolf or lion. But defending the flock and gathering them to be one is Job One of the shepherd--that kind of shepherd who risks his life and leaves the ninety-nine to search for the one who is missing.
Where else does personality rear its head? In our times, I would say music and clothes are a biggest sources of personal identity. In the church, those who want "our" music and resent "their" music, and who wage personal battles to get rid of one or the other, these wolves bear the blame for much church disunity. We should rather have NO music if it is going to be a source of division.
The same holds for clothes, art, culture, even language, architecture and decor, ceremonies and all other stuff--they are all part and parcel of our personality, and most of them are idols for destruction. But to yield as a shepherd to our Good shepherd means to fix our eyes on Him, not on any idol, not on ourselves nor one another. THIS is the key to overcoming the trap of personality.
May God make our fellowship one of deep love and unity, not personality cults and cliques and trendy people showing off. May God make us leaders who can protect and serve the flock, rather than sacrificing them to appease wolves.
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