In the nature of my holiness I must lift up Jesus, not just "be good" or try to win men's respect. Oswald Chambers writes (for March 25) is:

If my holiness is not drawing towards Him, it is not holiness of the right order, but an influence that will awaken inordinate affection and lead souls away into side-eddies. A beautiful saint may be a hindrance if he does not present Jesus Christ but only what Christ has done for him. He will leave the impression - "What a fine character that man is!" That is not being a true friend of the Bridegroom; I am increasing all the time, He is not.

Later he says,

Christian work may be a means of evading the soul's concentration on Jesus Christ.

When I am becoming less, I cannot but focus everything on my Bridegroom, my Friend. May God help me to fix my thoughts and eyes on Him. It is so tempting to "toot my own horn" and take to heart some of the kudos. I want to be honored, honestly. And though I know my Lord will shower honor on me in heaven, I don't know how to wait till then, and only be abused, ignored and taken for granted until that final day. Lord, help me wait for the honor, the delayed rewards you have promised to those who serve you. Show me daily how to "wait upon the Lord", and renew my strength, as you have promised, till I may run and not grow weary. IJNA

I must become less

"He must become greater; I must become less."

[John 3:30]

In the March 24 page in My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes in 150 words what is probably the best commentary on this passage I have ever read. This is not because it is thorough, nor profound, nor scholarly, nor eloquent, but because it is honest. It cuts to the heart. He has taken a confession of John the Baptist and made it a rebuke and a sword to pierce the Christian, not the unbeliever, but the believer only. He writes,

"If you become a necessity to a soul, you are out of God’s order. As a worker, your great responsibility is to be a friend of the Bridegroom."

I see people everywhere who, with all good intentions, nevertheless spoil their sheep or children or disciples by making the learner too dependent upon the teacher, instead of helping them to follow Jesus. John, however, stepped back and when asked if he was the Christ, replied,

The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.

Instead of winning followers for myself, or trying to be like a father to my sheep, or a soulmate or may God help me to become less and less to them, just a friend, no more. This Chambers calls "Decreasing into His purpose", meaning, God's purpose is to draw all men to Christ, not to moi, to exalt His Son and increase His kingdom, not mine. As one man aptly phrased, we Christians are just "one beggar showing another beggar where to find food." I don't think Jesus would have ever put it this way. He never wanted us to be like beggars, but to restore us as those who were commanded, "Rule over all the earth". But with respect to God, we are beggars whom HE has chosen and sacrificed even His Son to save.

So I must never think that I am the provider of something to my sheep. I am just repeating what I was told, giving as I have received, forgiving as I have been forgiven, and loving as I have been loved.

Thus, I am not increasing into God's purpose, but decreasing me to magnify Jesus.

Lord, I naturally exalt and build up myself, grasping for "relevance" and success and accolades. Please give me that mind of Christ, and help me to follow the example of John, who was "the greatest man ever born to a woman." Make me "least in the kingdom of heaven" if only I may see Jesus come into the hearts of my people. Lord, have my heart. Let me know that joy of John's to hear the Bridegroom's voice today.

Prayer without words

Romans 8:18-39 contains some of the most comforting words in the Bible, in my opinion. Take v.18, for example.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

What we are looking forward to is so amazing and glorious that when we dwell on it, our present sufferings melt away as insignificant. Sometimes that hope even dissipates my sympathy for others' sufferings, which may not be good. But if I love those who are suffering around me, I am compelled to struggle in prayer for them. Should I ask God to take away their sufferings (or mine)? Or should I pray that he may sanctify them (me) through the sufferings? I know not. But I pray all the more in hope that he will do the second then the first.

This struggling in prayer is the matter dealt with in the RBC's Our Daily Bread for Mar 15. The final closing point was a most excellent summary:

"When praying, it's better to have a heart without words than words without heart."

Which is exactly where I found myself last night. I thought about reading the Bible or doing daily bread, but didn't. I just knelt in prayer, unable to ask God for anything. Catholics might call this a "dark night of the soul". But God was there. It's just that I had no words, only a cry in my heajavascript:void(0)rt, mostly for my daughter. What can I do but pray for her? But what can I ask? She doesn't tell me her struggles or problems.

The prayer of the Spirit, helping me in my weakness, was sweet but very tiring, so tiring that I could barely get up this morning. As Paul writes,

"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."

So I am still groaning and moaning inwardly AND outwardly today. Not knowing how to pray isn't the problem, thankfully, since the Spirit intercedes for us "with groans that words cannot express". And even though, to me, my prayer was totally futile and unfruitful, a new hope arose in my heart through it: the hope that I cannot yet see, but which I am resolved now to wait for patiently: the hope that all my children will be saved. It may take many years of wandering in the far off country for them. But I shall not give up praying, nor give up hoping. "In this hope we were saved," that is, the hope of "our adoption as sons" and of "the redemption of our bodies".

What can I do then? Trust in God. He will save souls. That is what He cares about. And he may care about nations and schools and businesses and economies. But I don't think these things matter very much to God if they are not useful in saving souls. How can I save my business? Only by saving souls who work here. How can I save my campus, city and country? By making them into the hallowed ground where God's word is growing and bearing fruit. If I care about the people there, I must lift up Christ, who will draw men to himself. [Jn 12:32] God will work through THEM to save the business, campus, city or nation. In this way, not by direct intervention, we become "more than conquerors" [v.38], even though we "face death all day long." [v.37]

So I resolve to go on groaning in prayer, heart without words, but never words without heart.

O God, too weak and worn for words, I shrink
From trials that deeply wound, and yet to think
Your Holy Spirit helps me as I pray

And gives a voice to what I cannot say!
[Gustafson]
Dear Father, speak your Spirit groans through me
To save and draw the souls I love to thee.
Amid frustration help me to go on
Until my family and friends are won.
[me]

Our financial mess and the Anti-Christ

I'm not one to get all excited about End Times prophecy, because I believe the end has a very positive outcome for those of us who are believers in Christ Jesus. We put our hope in Him alone, and so, though we find the news troubling, we have peace that the world does not give amid the turmoil. Nevertheless, I cannot help but see that news and wonder if at last the things in Revelation are coming to pass. Oh! that it were so!

The thing that tells me it's real this time is that there is no mastermind, no demon, no Hitler. Rather, the decisions of the last 70 years have undermined national sovereignties and built a "global economy". These decisions were made by various numb-skulls and schemers, such as Woodrow Wilson, FDR, Nixon, Clinton, Bush and a host of godless congress-critters and UN type groups, all very self-important, but none really visionary more than for their own immediate political milieu. The one-world system of buying and selling based on some ID or "mark" seems ever more imminent and necessary in our times, from a purely pragmatic point of view. Now our leaders seem ready to sell our nation's soul for an immediate fix.

It is nothing new. Totalitarians have risen almost always on the heels of crisis.

That said, HERE is an article that makes such a simple explanation of the financial mess we are in. In it, the author makes the point that

the Federal government is on the brink of bankruptcy itself. The U.S. government is $11 trillion dollars in debt. (That figure does not include tens of trillions of dollars of off-balance sheet, unfunded liabilities.) Congress has no "money to allocate" to Fannie, Freddie, or anything else. You, the taxpayer, are on the hook for these massive obligations.

Debtors are slaves. If this liability is seized from the more careful and honest people, as the article suggests, we will all have to pay, usually as much as we are able to pay. That's how it usually goes when someone owes a lot. They CAN'T take it from those who have nothing, they WILL take it from someone.

Will it start this year? No one has any desire to drag out the depression for any length of time. We hope something is done. But the fix will be painful.

All this has nothing to do with an Anti-Christ. It's just government meddling in finances. But to the atheist, money is god. Once you bow the knee to Mammon, you are marked. Since everyone will eventually lose a job or default on a loan, the "mark" will be on all the "losers" (those who have been bailed out and have a debt to the government) ... at first. These will be allowed to buy and sell with debtor status. Soon, as the debtors become the majority, they will turn the tables and will be the only ones who can buy or sell. It's just a matter of time before the G-8 or EU or UN starts making proclamations and signing nations on for the "Multinational Allied Relief Council" (MARC).

My speculation here is just that, a brain storm. Does it make sense to you?

The "new world order" (Bush) and the "bold leap forward" (Brown) is unfolding now at a bank, police station, public school, university or DMV near you. Perhaps it IS a good time to start buying gold---

"You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich." [Rev 3:17,18a]

Now on sale at a Bible study near you.

And beware of debt. It's a trap.

PS: 3/11/09

Today comes the announcement! Bernake is calling for a national regulatory authority. Looks like he wants the central bank to be this regulator. How totally unaltruistic, and if he gets it, disastrous! Naturally, buying or selling that "counts" is done with borrowed money. And so without the Regulator's "mark", we will have no power to buy or sell big things. That's easy to regulate. Starting a business is the first step in selling. Control that first. If I were the antichrist, that's exactly what I would do. How it gets to be a matter of religion is unimportant. It will be a matter of State, and the MARK will simply be an agreement of sorts. No doubt most people of a dependent mindset will want it.

I'd have never guessed this would begin the day after I saw it coming.

PPS: 3/13/09

Lucky day! Our illustrious Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, is fully on board with Brown's "bold leap forward". He proposes today that we triple the size of the IMF (see The Daily Bell), despite the fact that the IMF just critiqued itself as basically incompetent (see here or better yet, here). Clearly, while the world leaders have made it to power, they do not know what they are doing; they are handing us all over to the devil (that is, handing us over to fools.) Will they ever listen to the voice of reason?

Anyway, my original point was that the global crisis seems to be leading us to a global solution, global regulation, globally controlled buying and selling. I don't know if this will unite the world. But if it does, do not assume the world will be freer; assume it will not be a Christian world; and assume it will bring us corruption, oppression and war on a truly global scale. Division serves to stem corruption. Why else did God confuse men's languages at Babel?

I consider my life worth nothing

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." [Acts 20:24]

Can I serve God just as I like, as a pastime or leisure, just according to my common sense? That's the point OC makes today in My Utmost for His Highest. "It is easier to serve God without a vision... without a call, because then you are not bothered by what God requires." I truly want to serve God. But when I serve him just as I think I'm ablest (or often as others think I am able), I wind up not even starting the race HE wants. What does he want? Yes, "Feed my sheep". Jesus made this abundantly clear by thrice repeating it. Without this, I haven't stayed the course, but become distracted; no matter how well I may be running, how fast and furiously I may be working, how busy I stay 24x7, I'm running away. Think Jonah.

It goes back to what I hold dear. If HE is what I hold dearest in all my life, then I will obey his commands, care about what he cares about, and do what he does, namely I'll lay down my life for his sheep. At least, to start with, I must count my life worth nothing to me, but only valuable if it is invested in His work. It's like money: we can "put this money to work", or we can spend and enjoy it for ourself. Putting it to work means I must give up the right to enjoy everything, and invest my life in His kingdom. Do I hold Jesus more dear than anything? In reality, I think I hold my own life dearest right now, and my own righteousness and my work. As OC puts it, my practical work can be a competitor to my "abandonment to God".

But at the moment, I'm not working that hard in practical ways. But I don't have a very strong vision either. For example, I should be getting up earlier to spend more time with the Lord in prayer and devotion. Two or three hours a day are wasted on myself. I need a "blueprint" for ministry also, though it is to be constantly available for the Holy Spirit to revise. Without a vision, I simply have a leisure-minded service to God that is so easily distracted by other runners going in all directions.

In Chicago I was useful, mostly in the realm of music. I think this was a valuable training time, but not God's ultimate calling. So when I left Chicago to preach and teach the Bible and pioneer, my usefulness (to others) decreased greatly. Yet I have not given my heart to feeding his sheep even now, after 4 full years in Virginia. Who am I kidding? I'm just living a leisurely life, serving God as a pastime, not with a vision.

Today, I must write the plan and vision for our ministry here, and especially, I must feed his sheep, seven sheep is a good goal. Let other goals fall by the wayside, perhaps, but NOT THIS.

Lord, forgive me for my lack of concern for your sheep. Increase my love for you, Lord Jesus. Give me that resolve of Apostle Paul, to "consider my life worth nothing" if only I may feed your sheep. Bless them and draw them to yourself, Lord. And help me not lose sight of my goal. What is my goal, Lord? ... Yes! It is to lift of Jesus, as he said,

"And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself." [Jn 12:32]

Lord, let me lift you up in Virginia today, to everyone I meet, even if I am useless in every other way.