Christ Jesus our hope

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope. [1 Timothy 1:1]

Paul's letters always began with an introduction of himself. But they were not grandiloquent summaries of his own credentials. They were expressions of glory to God. His name alone refers to him.

"Apostle" refers to Christ Jesus, Paul's Master, the One who sent him. In this world, it is considered an honor to have servants one can send out to do ones bidding. Even gangsters and politicians want to have several lackeys to do their work for them. Some professors treat their graduate students no better. But to Paul, the greatest joy of his life was being the apostle who Jesus sent out. Christ Jesus was his God, his Savior, and his Hope. So to go out in Jesus' Name was better than having a thousand servants to wait on him.

Great people love to measure their greatness. This is a deception. Paul was not deceived by his greatness. He measured only the greatness of the One who sent him. He was somebody only by virtue of the One he served. His confidence was not in the flesh nor his accomplishments and credentials. He drew all his confidence from above, from God his Savior and Christ Jesus his hope. By this he could go out to face rejection and persecution, hardship and poverty. By this confidence, he could stand before scary people like Agrippa and Festus. He could have courage during a shipwreck, and not freak out when he was bitten by an especially poisonous viper.

Christ Jesus was his hope, not a longer life. Christ Jesus was his hope, not a greater degree of recognition.

Thus, Paul was free. He was not obsessed with himself or his position, success, comfort, needs, freedoms, rights or recognition. Oh to get free of such obsessions and simply go forth as Jesus' apostle! Why have I so seldom gone out to the campus? Why do I still fail to preach evangelistically? I cannot as long as He has not sent me, and this is plain from the fact that I am looking for my confidence other than in Him, looking for someone to validate me, or some sending or invitation from men.

Paul, in fact, received a supernatural commission from Jesus. He later saw a vision of the man from Macedonia. Do I need such a commission? Probably I do. Yet I believe God has sent me to Virginia, via my ordinary need for a job; I believe he sent my wife to me, via ordinary friends who introduced us; I believe God sent me to Chicago through ordinary events and desires. So it is inconsistent to now think I need some miraculous sign to go out and preach on campus or give my heart to teaching the Bible. Has my Lord not said, "I will bless thee"? Either I have not been sent, or I have not been empowered, or I have simply not obeyed. Alas, the last is the case, for

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. [2 Peter 1:3]

Lord, forgive my disobedience, and help my unbelief. You have commanded, yet I have not gone out, at least haven't gone to preach the gospel to all creation. Please increase your Spirit in me, till your Word may be like a burning fire that consumes me within and drives me to speak in your Name. Father, what a wretch I am! Rescue me from this chicken-heart, this body of death, to go forth as your apostle. Please Lord! In Jesus' name, amen.

He has given us all we need for life and godliness

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption of the world caused by evil desires." [2 Peter 1:3,4]

God's divine power is almighty. By it he created the heavens and the earth. Why is it we so often think we are destined to be poor and penniless? If God Almighty is our God, then HE ALONE is our "very great reward", and all that we need is in Him.

Not only does He give us everything we need spiritually, but this verse says, "everything we need for life and godliness", meaning the life needs AND spiritual needs. Maybe we will lose much in this world. But the wealth of all the universe is at the disposal of our Lord. Will he not "tax the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us, if we will obey Him"? [Oswald Chambers, May 16] Surely it is so, as He has solemnly promised, "I will bless you," and, "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you will bear much fruit," and, "I will never leave you nor forsake you," and, "How much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him," and, "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."

I will not preach a prosperity gospel. But rather a gospel of "The Lord will provide." God alone knows all our needs. If he knows our needs, he will provide our daily bread, surely.

But what of the shortages so many godly people face? How many churches and ministries are begging for help and barely able to maintain operations in these days? It is most certain that God has not failed them. They are doing what he has not provided, nor commanded. He has commanded, "Preach the gospel to all creation," and, "Make disciples of all nations." These people want to make radio broadcasts. That's easy, it just takes money. To make disciples, THAT is another matter. It takes not money, but the Holy Spirit.

And God has abundantly given us of His Spirit, to those who ask, just as He promised. Last Sunday, my own poor message on Luke 11 was so abundantly blessed by GOd, that I was myself moved by it to pray more. I almost couldn't believe God had led me to read the most ideal Psalm before the message, which I had selected almost at random. And the message was fine and powerful, not because I prepared well, which I assuredly did NOT, but because THE LORD GAVE THE WORD.

I will not claim the credit, but give the glory to God, that I can preach. It is not a message I would bother to give anyone to READ. But to preach it, by God's help, I have been helped greatly, greatly. This I cannot but thank and exalt him for, with all my heart and soul.

What Peter writes is that God HAS given us all we need for doing God's work. Provided we are doing HIS work, and not merely trying to be a popular preacher, or history-maker, or Great Man, or power broker in our community, or a successful religious professional---God has provided all the wealth we need already! How positively sad it is when ministers cannot get anything done if X number of dollars aren't forthcoming from their supporters by such-and-such a date.

What then has God called ME to do? To preach the gospel right here and now in UVa, and make disciples. What do I lack? Why have I not started? Am I short on education, or credentials, or human authority? Do I need a helper or some kind of prayer squadron, like Billy Graham always had? There are those who are praying for me, such as Mother Sarah Barry, Kevin Albright, Grace Koh. If these three agree and support me, how is it their voices are not enough, not loud enough, to reach God's ear? Surely I have all I need in God to do His work powerfully here in Charlottesville. Surely! Surely!

Why then do I hesitate to preach? to go to the campus? to ask people to study? Why do I hesitate to open my mouth and proclaim God's word? There is, I fear, only one thing I lack: faith. Like the Tin Man, I lack a heart. Instead of caring for the lost and misled people all around me and on the campuses, I am engulfed with the cares and worries of this world and desires for other things, weeds that make the seed unfruitful, even though the soil is very good. As the saying goes, "The rankest weeds grow also in the richest soil."

What are these weeds? They are interests, cares, worries and desires for things like money and fame and security. I want security for myself and my family. I know God will provide. Perhaps he will open up a job for me to provide, or inspire me to write something powerful that will sell. I am sure He has given me all I need, though, to do HIS work already. I need only GO. That word... it is so unpleasant and inconvenient. I have to go the campus before I can possibly meet students and bring them. I cannot preach in my empty house, but must preach to those who are not really that interested in hearing, so as to encourage their interest, to give them that word by which they can believe. "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15And how can they preach unless they are sent?" [Ro 10:14,15]

Lord, forgive my unbelief. If you have already given me all I need, send me to preach now. Lord, I cannot go if I am not sent. Please assume me that it is YOU who are sending me, and not any man, nor my own idea. Here am I; send me!

Am I happy?

Today my wife told me I am not happy. She thinks this. And as she knows me objectively, I must agree that she is right. But it is not that I am an unhappy person, nor that I have not found happiness in life. It's just a funk.

Even so, the Word says:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

[Phil 4:4] Therefore, to rejoice not is to sin. Being joyful is commanded. For

The joy of the Lord is your strength.

[Nehemiah 8:10] So what have I missed this week, that even my family are sure I am not happy?

Clearly, I have been reading too much Jonathan Edwards. I think his preaching is entirely too strong a medicine for me. Perhaps I need such strong medicine, and must get worse before I get better. But even if there is a great deal of truth in his message, I do not find it to be "full of grace AND truth", at least not yet. Only the cold, hard truth. And that alone cannot make any man truly happy.

So I must leave off Jonathan Edwards for awhile and come back to Jesus himself, for His word gives life, not that of any other man. What bothers me is that, as Edwards constantly teaches, to not live up to the image of God is inexcusable. To fail to pray is hypocrisy. To avoid ones spiritual duty is unrepented sinfulness. I find myself only a failure.

Yet God always used those who failed humanly if only they remained in Him. Remaining IN Jesus is the one and only guaranteed means to bear fruit, not bearing the fruit themselves. I would aim to pray more, prepare and preach more excellently, trust more, bear the fruits of the Spirit, and live a life of self-control and purity. Aim. "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp. Or what's a heaven for?" Surely I cannot reach God's standard, or I am not a fallen sinner, but a Christ to myself. This cannot be. I must only keep on reaching though I fail.

Fail? Yes. It is less sinful to attempt and fail than to never attempt a good work at all. But no matter what I attempt, I must not fail to have the joy of the Lord, for THAT is my strength. He within me is my joy, and only strength. Apart from Him I have no good thing.

Then let me resolve this alone today: I will rejoice in the Lord. Habakkuk 3:17,18 says,

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

What has caused this funk? I think it's just that I cannot have everything I want in life. I cannot live like Adam in Eden. I cannot live like St. Paul. I am not a full-time servant of God, but a lay minister. I am not a great parent nor a good shepherd nor a sacrificial husband. I am just a very ordinary man. But I can go on, aiming for all these, for the glory of God, who promised to bear fruit through me in his own time. Lord, let me remain in Jesus, and in your joy today. Amen.