In the nature of my holiness I must lift up Jesus, not just "be good" or try to win men's respect. Oswald Chambers writes (for March 25) is:

If my holiness is not drawing towards Him, it is not holiness of the right order, but an influence that will awaken inordinate affection and lead souls away into side-eddies. A beautiful saint may be a hindrance if he does not present Jesus Christ but only what Christ has done for him. He will leave the impression - "What a fine character that man is!" That is not being a true friend of the Bridegroom; I am increasing all the time, He is not.

Later he says,

Christian work may be a means of evading the soul's concentration on Jesus Christ.

When I am becoming less, I cannot but focus everything on my Bridegroom, my Friend. May God help me to fix my thoughts and eyes on Him. It is so tempting to "toot my own horn" and take to heart some of the kudos. I want to be honored, honestly. And though I know my Lord will shower honor on me in heaven, I don't know how to wait till then, and only be abused, ignored and taken for granted until that final day. Lord, help me wait for the honor, the delayed rewards you have promised to those who serve you. Show me daily how to "wait upon the Lord", and renew my strength, as you have promised, till I may run and not grow weary. IJNA