Christ Jesus our hope

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope. [1 Timothy 1:1]

Paul's letters always began with an introduction of himself. But they were not grandiloquent summaries of his own credentials. They were expressions of glory to God. His name alone refers to him.

"Apostle" refers to Christ Jesus, Paul's Master, the One who sent him. In this world, it is considered an honor to have servants one can send out to do ones bidding. Even gangsters and politicians want to have several lackeys to do their work for them. Some professors treat their graduate students no better. But to Paul, the greatest joy of his life was being the apostle who Jesus sent out. Christ Jesus was his God, his Savior, and his Hope. So to go out in Jesus' Name was better than having a thousand servants to wait on him.

Great people love to measure their greatness. This is a deception. Paul was not deceived by his greatness. He measured only the greatness of the One who sent him. He was somebody only by virtue of the One he served. His confidence was not in the flesh nor his accomplishments and credentials. He drew all his confidence from above, from God his Savior and Christ Jesus his hope. By this he could go out to face rejection and persecution, hardship and poverty. By this confidence, he could stand before scary people like Agrippa and Festus. He could have courage during a shipwreck, and not freak out when he was bitten by an especially poisonous viper.

Christ Jesus was his hope, not a longer life. Christ Jesus was his hope, not a greater degree of recognition.

Thus, Paul was free. He was not obsessed with himself or his position, success, comfort, needs, freedoms, rights or recognition. Oh to get free of such obsessions and simply go forth as Jesus' apostle! Why have I so seldom gone out to the campus? Why do I still fail to preach evangelistically? I cannot as long as He has not sent me, and this is plain from the fact that I am looking for my confidence other than in Him, looking for someone to validate me, or some sending or invitation from men.

Paul, in fact, received a supernatural commission from Jesus. He later saw a vision of the man from Macedonia. Do I need such a commission? Probably I do. Yet I believe God has sent me to Virginia, via my ordinary need for a job; I believe he sent my wife to me, via ordinary friends who introduced us; I believe God sent me to Chicago through ordinary events and desires. So it is inconsistent to now think I need some miraculous sign to go out and preach on campus or give my heart to teaching the Bible. Has my Lord not said, "I will bless thee"? Either I have not been sent, or I have not been empowered, or I have simply not obeyed. Alas, the last is the case, for

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. [2 Peter 1:3]

Lord, forgive my disobedience, and help my unbelief. You have commanded, yet I have not gone out, at least haven't gone to preach the gospel to all creation. Please increase your Spirit in me, till your Word may be like a burning fire that consumes me within and drives me to speak in your Name. Father, what a wretch I am! Rescue me from this chicken-heart, this body of death, to go forth as your apostle. Please Lord! In Jesus' name, amen.